When I got married and had children, the burden of responsibility and emotional turmoil flooded my life. I loved them so much and had bouts of anxiety when they fell sick, fearful that I would lose them. However when I was in my late forties, I had to overcome the greatest hurdle of my life; my husband was diagnosed with kidney cancer. After a botched surgery, he passed away. Why did he have to die and leave me? Why do we have to die?
I was left in tears and hopelessness as I grieved for months. It was only when I encountered the Buddha-Dhamma, that life started improving and my attitude became more positive. I attended Friday sermons by late Chief Ven. K. Sri Dhammananda at the Buddhist Māha Vihāra, and I could feel that my life of obstacles and difficulties was a thing of the past.
I began to see life through the lens of Dhamma and within the frame of the Four Noble Truths; I understood that with birth, there is death. It is the only certainty after we are born. I no longer questioned why we have to die, but instead focused on how we should live a meaningful life. The Dhamma gave me so many answers that I became energized to give unto others the joy that Dhamma gave me, through service to the Sāsana and community.
Now in my 70’s, I have written my will, made financial arrangements, and am progressively letting go of worldly possessions. My daily routine comprises the essentials: making wholesome aspirations, meditation, and morning walks. Simplifying my life allows my mind to be clear and accepting of what may come. Until the day this body stops breathing, may I continue to learn, practise and realise the Dhamma. Sukhihotu.